The 11 best goals of Brazil’s 1982 Magic 11.

• Zimbabwean hospitality backfires. (guardian)
• The Panini album from 1986. (Football Spotter)
• Drogba in Time’s 100 Most Influential People – not for diving. (Dirty Tackle)
• Hots dogs, Iraq and Manchester United. (Liverpool Offside)
• Ghana’s World Cup provisional squad leak – maybe. (Ghana WCB)
• Breaking up ultra groups in France. (Unprofessional Foul)
• England League Two – fourth tier – stadia. (The Best Eleven)
• Diego Forlan takes it off for goals. And the ladies. (Soccer Training Info)

Will this finally be ‘the year’? They’re not quite a favorite – that’s somewhere between Brazil and Spain right now by most accounts – but they’re certain lurking in that second tier, somewhere behind the Braspana favorite and the darkhorse tag. While most won’t predict it, very few would be surprised if the Netherlands finally get their World Cup.

What is assured is that they’ll look awfully good with the ball at their feet going forward. One of the most technically astute European teams, they have a rich history of churning out brilliant attacker after brilliant attacker, something some might call a curse, but no less pleasing to the casual fan. They’re likely to be a neutral’s dream when running at full speed, along with those Spanish fellas and that juggernaut Brazil rolls into the World Cup every four years.

No matter what, there will be a few orange shirts on the pitch at all times well worth the price of admission on their own, which instantly makes them, at the very least, a fan favorite. Moreover, they’re very much capable of making this ‘the year’.

Nickname: Oranje (Free guesses)

Group: E; Japan, Cameroon, Denmark

FIFA World Ranking as of April 28th 2010: 4th

Coach: Bert van Marwijk It was always going to be difficult taking over for the legendary Marco van Basten after their high-flying Euros adventure in 2008, but Bert hasn’t lost a step. The Dutch waltzed through qualifying unscratched and were the first European side to qualify for South Africa. The early bar has been mighty high.

Key Players: The Oranje are an embarrassment of technical riches. Perhaps the hottest player in the world is winger Arjen Robben, the signing of the season and making a late run for player of 2009/10. It’s not quite quantifiable, but no one is more ‘electric’ than Arjen, with pace and dribbling for days on end. Wesley Sneijder isn’t far back as this year’s signing, the diminutive playmaker behind the strikers with tremendous vision, passing and free kicks. Meanwhile the one playmaker Real did keep last summer, attacking mid Rafael van der Vaart, is no technical slouch himself.

And while the names will dominate, Eljero Elia is a budding European star whose ‘electricity’ is positively Robben-esque. Ibrahim Afellay, Ryan Babel also: young, gifted, technical.

The strikers aren’t quite the glittering group that is the men who sit behind them. Robin van Persie is back from a very long injury layoff and was in the midst of the form of his life, which he’ll want to recover in time from the World Cup. Workhorse Dirk Kuyt has his admirers, but he’s not quite the poacher normally to lead the line. That poacher is Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, who’s suffered through something of a nightmare first year in Milan and won’t be towing a great deal of good form or confidence along with him to South Africa.

The hardmen in the middle are Nigel De Jong and Mark van Bommel, who earns the special distinction of being van Marwijk’s son-in-law. That could go either way, obviously.

In the back is where opponents will look to defeat the Dutch, with John Heitinga and Joris Mathijsen the two likely to fall in the center, rising star Gregory van der Wiel on the right and captain ageless Giovanni van Bronckhorst filling out the left. Maarten Stekelenberg, long the future No. 1, is now the No. 1.

Player with best YouTube video: With such talent, it’s unfair to have to pick between them. (Ruud gets an honorary cameo.)

Player with best name: Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, one of the more adaptable names in football. It contributes to such nicknames as The Hunter; it allows for the very simple but highly distinguishable use of initials, KJH; and it also allows for such lines as “Klaas is class”. A treasure trove of possibilities.

Player with best nickname: Khalid Bouhlarouz - ‘Khalid the Cannibal’.

Really, could dribbling into a defender sound any more intimidating?

Qualification: Sometimes numbers tell a better story than words: 8, 8-0-0, 17, 2, +15.

An absolute walk in the park.

Interesting: The Netherlands are the best team in the world – at least unofficially. They currently hold Nasazzi’s baton, which they wrastled from Norway, obviously the previous “best team in the world”.

The Baton changes hands when the holders are defeated in a match regarded by FIFA and both participating teams as a full international.

Obviously this is how the World Cup should be handled.

National Anthem: Het Wilhelmus (”The William”)

Kit: Orange. Black. Best kit at the World Cup. (One of those may be a matter of opinion…the second one.)

You can buy the Netherlands World Cup kits in our store.
World Cup History:

Expectations: This line is going to be played out for many teams by the time the World Cup arrives, but it rings no less true: quarterfinals, and then it depends on the draw.

Squad: TBA

Blog: Jan steers the Netherlands World Cup Blog behemoth.

- More World Cup 2010 Team Profiles.

If you’re not too familiar with the USA soccer team, then you’d be forgiven for thinking its World Cup history is all fairly recent. If so, then you’re in for a surprise.

Though there’s a gigantic 40 year gap smack bang in the middle of this story, the USA’s World Cup history begins at exactly the same time as the tournament itself, as they were one of the teams competing in the inaugural 1930 World Cup.

1930 World Cup in Uruguay

There’s a myth surrounding the 1930 USA team, that they were made up of former British professionals. Which implies they weren’t really American, and that the USA’s performance in 1930 wasn’t really American. The truth is that there were six British-born players on the team: five Scottish-born and one English-born, but all had emigrated to the United States well before 1930 and were playing professionally in the American Soccer League. Only one of those six had actually played professionally in Britain, but that was Englishman George Moorhouse who’d played just two games for Tranmere Rovers in late 1921 and early 1922. So this was a team of immigrants, not British ringers.

The USA were drawn into a three team group, along with Belgium and Paraguay. They beat Belgium 3-0, with Bart McGhee (one of those Scottish born players) scoring the USA’s first (and then second) ever World Cup goal.

In the second game, USA beat Paraguay 3-0 with a hat-trick from Bert Patenaude, which made the Massachusets-born striker the owner of the first ever World Cup hat-trick. Except it didn’t at the time, because there was some dispute over who had scored the second goal. However, FIFA finally recognized Patenaude as the scorer in 2006, which means he’s now in the record books as the first to score three in one game at a World Cup.

As group winners the US went to the semi-final, where they faced Argentina. The team had earned the nickname “the shot-putters” because of their physical size, but were thumped 6-1 in front of a massive crowd people in Montevideo. Not a great way to exit, but in the absence of a third place playoff, FIFA awarded the USA third place at the 1930 World Cup based on tournament record, which is still the team’s best finish to date, and still the best finish by a team from outside Europe or South America. Part of me wishes the USA had kept “the shot-putters” as a nickname though.

1934 World Cup in Italy

Only 16 teams entered the 1934 World Cup proper, but to be amongst those 16 the USA faced a playoff against Mexico three days before the tournament began. The playoff was in Rome, and so to all intents and purposes was part of the World Cup. Except officially it was a qualifier. Imagine if that still happened? If Thierry Henry’s handball against Ireland had been three days before World Cup 2010 began? Craziness.

The US won the game 4-2, with all four goals coming from Aldo “Buff” Donelli (pictured). I can’t pretend to know anything about Donelli, so will quote from this excellent USSoccer.com article instead:

Donelli wasn’t picked to start, but on the urging of Billy Gonslaves, the team’s biggest star, ‘Buff’ was included in the starting line-up. Gonslaves knew what no one else did – ‘Buff’ could score. Donelli sliced and diced his way through the Mexican defense, netting all four goals for the U.S. in a 4-2 win that propelled them into the World Cup. Donelli opened the scoring with a goal in the 15th minute, and then broke a 1-1 deadlock with goals in the 30th and 73rd minutes, before topping off the match with an 87th minute strike. Donelli had a chance for five goals, but amazingly missed a penalty kick. By accomplishing the feat, Donelli became the first player in U.S. Soccer history to score four goals in one game.

The actual 1934 World Cup had no group stages. It was lose and you’re out. The US faced hosts Italy in the First Round and were beaten 7-1. Over and out. The only bright spot was that Donelli scored again in that game. He never played international soccer again, but has an impressive scoring record of 5 goals in two games. I don’t see Brian Ching matching that strike rate any time soon.

1950 World Cup in Brazil

This is a strange one. Because of the surprise 1-0 win over England, USA’s 1950 World Cup is considered a success. Yet the US actually lost the other two group games 3-1 to Spain and 5-2 to Chile, and finished bottom of the pile. However, that shouldn’t detract from what is one of the great World Cup upsets, now known as either the Miracle on Grass (like the Miracle on Ice, get it?) or the Miracle of Belo Horizonte. The game even has it’s own Wikipedia page.

The basics are as follows. England, finally playing in their first World Cup, considered themselves the best football team on earth. The USA team was made up of semi-professionals and were given no chance against an England team boasting greats like Billy Wright, Tom Finney and Stan Mortensen. Yet somehow the USA won 1-0 with a goal from Joe Gaetjens.

Brief, scratchy highlights below, taken from an ITV news segment not long after Charlize Theron had set up an England vs USA rematch at World Cup 2010. The segment also features interviews with USA defender Harry Keough and goalkeeper Frank Borghi (also: great post about Frank Borghi at Culture of Soccer) …

I’m pretty sure that newspapers ignoring the scoreline they’ve been given because they can’t believe that it’s accurate should be the new definition of an upset.

Want to see more of the Hollywood film? It’s titled either “Game of Their Lives” after the Peter Douglas book it was based on, or “The Miracle Match”. Which isn’t nearly as good a title. Trailer below:

You might notice from the trailer that the 1950 USA jerseys bear a resemblance to the USA jerseys for World Cup 2010. And yep, that really is Gavin Rossdale from Bush playing Stan Mortensen and Gerard Butler of “300″ fame playing Frank Borghi. Reviews were mixed.

After that dramatic high point (the actual win over England, not the film) it would be an incredible 40 years before the USA would return to the World Cup. So we’ll continue this story from 1990 onwards in Part II.

We should’ve learned by now. It’s really our own fault. Yet it’s hard to click on the monthly FIFA standings and frantically look around like someone’s playing a joke. Which would explain why Sepp Blatter is sitting over there in a Richard Nixon mask. (How’d he get in here?)

Three teams in the top fifteen aren’t even going to the World Cup, including Croatia, one of the great disappointments, at ninth. Odd, surely. Brazil overtook Spain in first without having played a game – a greater degree of odd.

However, just how they’re getting away with Portugal at third…well no one really knows.

Thankfully, FIFA does offer us an explanation:

This means that most of the changes in this edition of the ranking are due to the devaluation of past results. Some teams have actually gained points due to the fact that the devaluation of poor results has led to a greater weighting of successful matches.

An explanation, but not necessarily the one we wanted.

FIFA: Keeping football dysfunctional since 1904.™